Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Not exactly a bake sale, but it'll do


There you are, sitting in your comfortable chair at the Woodland Park Zoo, trying to figure out how to raise some cash.

Then it hits you: "Holy crap, maybe we should sell some shit."

And so you send a photo (the one you're looking at) and a press release, which includes this:

"It's time for Woodland Park Zoo's annual Spring Fecal Fest! The pungent piles of poop have cooked away hot as ever through the cold winter, producing beautiful mounds of the richest, highly aromatic, most exotic compost in the Pacific Northwest.

"As usual, due to the ever-increasing poopularity, a drawing is held for this spring's sale. Dr. Doo is accepting entry cards from March 25 until April 8 only. Remember, you may submit one request only. Phone orders will not be taken. However, if you just need more information, be sure to call the poop line at 206.625.POOP."

yegods.

"Pick-up dates begin April 21 and continue through April 30. Dr. Doo will randomly select as many cards as supplies of Zoo Doo allow and will contact you only if your lucky card was selected. The Fecal Fests traditionally sell out. And remember, you load the Zoo Doo yourself, using shovels the zoo provides.

"Prices for pick-up trucks are 8x4 bed $60; 6x4 bed $45; 6x3 bed $35. Garbage cans are$8 to $10, and bags are $4 to $6 depending on size. Limit one full truck per person. Two-gallon and pint-sized buckets also are available in the ZooStore for $14.95 and $4.95, respectively."

1 comment:

Dave said...

I'm going to start saving up my own shit to make a few bucks, only I'm going to have people bid for it. The event will be followed by a potluck supper at St. Patrick's; macaroni salads only.