Pete Rose

USA Today has a story today on Pete Rose, and whether the numbers say he should be in the Hall of Fame (aka setting betting aside).

The story acknowledges his status as Major League Baseball's all-time leader in hits (4,256 vs. Ty Cobb's 4,189 - or perhaps 4,191), as well as his well-earned Charlie Hustle persona. But aside from that, the nonbylined piece is largely a side-by-side of baseball's all-time greats and Rose, with the shadow falling on the banned man and the light bright on MLB's stars and workaday players who could be conceived to outshine the Man Who Bet On Baseball.

Don't get me wrong: I view his as the ultimate sin in his sport, and I wouldn't say he belongs in the Hall. But you know, you can't win me on numbers when you forget - as USA Today did - to include that in addition to being the all-time hits leader, Rose was No. 2 in doubles, behind only Tris Speaker.

Maybe you haven't heard of Tris Speaker, inarguably one of the top hitters of all time. Besides being the all-time doubles king, Speaker is fourth in lifetime batting average, fifth in hits and sixth in triples. But hey, that's just one stat.

The thing is, you can tell a lot of stories with stats. True in life, true in baseball. But I don't think it's fair to tell a story and drop obvious important numbers, especially when the story is controversial (like Rose) and when you're trying to prove a point with numbers.

Out of left field

So Rickey Henderson and Jim Rice are in the Hall of Fame. Henderson's one of those no-brainers, but Rice seemed destined to have the same fate as Andre Dawson or Tommy John or Bert Blyleven - exceptional players who didn't quite reach the top of the heap (at least in the minds of the baseball writers who do the voting).

Rice had good numbers, great numbers even, but he's always going to be one of those guys who, outside the Boston area, is a marginal choice. The real stat wizards name as his comparables some scary hitters, but only four of the top 10 named by baseball-reference.com are in the Hall of Fame, and I think you have to be an aficionado to know who they (Orlando Cepeda, Duke Snider, Billy Williams and Willie Stargell) are.

On the flip side, numbers aren't everything, right? Maybe, maybe not. That's one thing you can say for baseball: Numbers are king. I guess that makes Jim Rice a viscount or a minor duke.

Stupidest people in America?

With apologies to my e-friends who make a fair amount of money absolutely but aren't well off relatively, I think I've found some new dumbasses to pillory: Prince Fielder, Cole Hamels and Nick Markakis, all of whom are quoted as bitching about their salaries in a USA Today article.

This exorbitantly talented trio is weathering the long wait of a young Major League Baseball player who has a) arrived; and b) isn't getting the big payday.

But when I, or more properly, they say, "big," what's meant maybe doesn't square with what you might think of as Big.

Next season's haul? Fielder: $670,000; Hamels: $500,000; Markakis: $455,000.

OK, I get it. Their teams make money hand over fist on them, but come on. When you're making 10 or 20 times good pay, you have not one god damn thing to bitch about. At least not for the record.

More bullshitty baseball writing

USA Today has a sidebar today with the story about Arizona Diamondbacks starter Brandon Webb's 42-inning scoreless streak (which includes three straight shutouts!).

The sidebar is a quick hit on comparisons between Webb and the pitcher he is chasing, Orel Hershiser. Notorious dickhead Tommy Lasorda is quoted as saying he can't bring himself to root for Webb, pretty much because Lasorda bleeds Dodger blue and Hershiser was his guy.

OK, whatever. But Bob Nightengale's sidebar leads with this:

PHOENIX - Los Angeles Dodgers Hall of Fame manager Tom Lasorda admires the man, sees the same marvelous qualities as his own celebrated pitcher but can't bring himself to root for Brandon Webb of the Arizona Diamondbacks to break one of baseball's most cherished records.

Most cherished? What? You mean right up there with the consecutive games played streak and the all-time home run record?

Hey, it is a cool record, but I think shooting for the all-time, single-season mark in shutouts (16) would be a hell of a lot more impressive. We'll just have to wait until hell freezes over for that one.

Suspend the Bonds debate? No way

USA Today's Mike Lopresti thinks we should all give the Barry Bonds steroid debate a break while he breaks Hank Aaron's career Major League home run record. You know the argument, which is nicely summed up by the headline:

Lopresti: Suspend Bonds debate and savor the drama

Bullshit. How about:

Suspend Bonds, resolve the debate and savor the truth