Things I wish I knew how to do

I'm not sure when I'd learn, exactly, because my to-do list is always longer than the days have hours. But here are a few things I'd like to know how to do. When I say "know how to do" I mean "know how to do well."

• Play guitar (or piano, or banjo or harmonica, for that matter). I know, I know, this is a skill that white people commonly have. But I don't.
• Make a decent batch of sembei (Japanese rice crackers). I'm working on this one. The last batch (the labor of my Labor Day) were pretty bad, but not as bad as the previous try.
• Make furniture/cabinetry. Especially cabinetry.
• Swim twice as fast, run twice as far. Um, yeah. Eventually.
• Write dialogue in fiction that isn't clunky.
• Build a sailboat. Or a pirate ship. And sail it.
• Distill whisky.

Of course, that's the realistic list. I left off "teleport," "conjure tornadoes" and "learn telekinesis," even though I think those would all be wicked handy skills.