A gentleman's B-plus

Rumor has it the alma mater - maybe they should call it College of Lake Woebegone - isn't going to segregate honors and cum laude students from the mob at the upcoming commencement exercises because about a third of the class qualifies for honors.

Ouch.

There are about 1,500 students, which means - if you believe the 10-1 ratio claim - about 150 people are on the faculty. How is it that such a small group has fallen victim to such an easily solved problem?

The meritocracy isn't the only aspect of the college suffering from homogenization. The admissions office-provided overview of the college claims that:
a) 2006-07 will cost you about $40,000 for classes, "fees," a bed, eats, books and protractors.
b) The college gives need-based aid to more than half of students and $13 million over all. Even if the number was about 60 percent and ALL the cash was need-based, which it most certainly is not, the average award would work out to less than $15,000, leaving the folks (and loans) to cover one hell of a tasty candy bar, perhaps one that "provides a richer, more rewarding snack experience because of its crunchy chocolate, abundance of soft, chewy caramel and inherent association with money."

*** A humorous side note *** provided by the college for the benefit of Mercer Island and Lake Oswego types:

"We believe what happens on campus, not in the nearby big city, is what creates a great college experience."

If you come here for school, you'd damn well better believe that, too. The almost palpable protective shield around the college can only be defeated by a chosen few, either do-gooders or those who have cultivated loneliness.